Today turned to be an okay day, there we're it's wonderful highlight and it horrible comtouring effects. the day started out well when I got to sleep till five minutes before I left, but it was okay because I had already taken a shower so all I needed to do is put clothes on and go to school. This morning I was delighted to see Ashley between 1sy and 2nd period, and surprisingly enough, I looked at her and smiled and she waved. (you know that feeling most 7th grade girls get when the person they really like says the words "hi" or "What's up" well that feeling showed up it was nice for the next 2 periods. Anyway, then we had this speaker come that was one of the most boring people I have evr had to waste my ears on, he talked on something importantfor about ten minutes and then found different ways to ramble on for about another hour. Meanwhile me and Jenna we're discussing my recent weekend encouters with stupidity (I've come to realize it was one of the most stupid decisions of my life). Well she seemed pretty upset about it and proceeded to repremand me, to which I expectedly turned my head and every once in a while gave some kind of conterfiet signal that I was paying some kind of attention. Every so often fucking up and saying the wrong thing, "so what do you think you should do?"...."yes!!" those kinds of answers, ah well. Then from there I went to lunch and that was dandy as usual, but then I went to bible fell asleep in my palm, my elbow, which was supporting my arm and palm and head, decided it was time to slide off of the desk, and so it did abrubtly waking me up. Fortunately there was only 5 minutes left in class so I didn't have to force myself back to sleep.Chior went oddly, Jenna was in a bad mood and natalie has been going through some of the most interesting mood swings I have ever seen. From there school had ended and I found this toy, looked a lot like a pipe, but in fact it was a little man on a scooter that lights up, I looked at the inside of it and saw that it had those little fiber optic strings in it, I wanted to get them out but it had some screws so I proceeded to try to pry it open with my fingers only to fail so I diverted my atttention to other things only to retuen it right back to that arduous task to get the fibers out of the toy. So I threw it to the concrete as hard as I could and then it broke open and I was able to retrieve the fibers within it, I played with them for a while but then discarded them and moved on to something else. I looked at the situation as I was driving home in the car and noticed that this was how I approached most things in my life, Iknow what it is that I want and I see it but I lack the tools necessary to retreive what it is that I want so I try my hardest by simple methods to get it all the while being distracted by other things, eventually I just get frustrated and "throw it to the ground" and destroy to get what I wanted but becoming disinterested in what it is after a short time, in the the meanwhile I've destroyed what I could rebuilt and have then also found what it was that I really wanted, a whole and it's parts together...but I already fucked it up......I'm sorry Ashley ...I'm working on my destructive tendacies


Song : Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved